Princess Kylie AND THE HORRORS OF HALLOWEEN!
by MarshieMello-Cookies
Summary: It's a normal Halloween night in South Park...until somethings happens, and chaos ensues. Pure, random, nonsensical crack.


**Okaysies, this is for SouthParkFan8's Halloween competition. Basically, according to the last four numbers of my phone number, I had to write a SCARY one-shot.**

**This may seem a little bit awkward, as it was hard to write, and the end is just random.**

**But anyways, you can decide for yourself if this is slash or not. Whatever floats your boat.**

**Disclamier/Warning: Don't own SP, and this has cursing, gore, and err….stuff..**

The night was cold and snow fell upon the small Colorado town of South Park. Throughout the snow-carpeted streets, small children, dressed up in shop bought costumes and sloppy face paint trooped around in groups with pillowcases bulging with candy.

Among the children, were a group of four teens, each dressed up and trick or treating like they were still nine year old boys.

There was a blonde boy, dressed up as hobo (at least he claimed he was. He looked quite normal really), a raven haired boy, dressed all in black, and covered with a black cape, a portly brunette dressed, once again, as his idol Hitler, who kept jumping out and scaring kids out of their candy, and the last one was a red headed girl, dressed as a princess in a large poofy pink dress and tiara that glittered in the moonlight.

The red head, however, was not a girl, but a boy, which was slightly hard to believe due to his glittery make-up and shoulder-length straightened hair. He should have known not to bet with the fat Hitler boy, named Cartman, yet he did, and now, he was stuck as a princess on Halloween.

"Cartman you fat fuck, you're gonna be sick eating all that!" Yelled the princess, pointing to Hitler's large pile of candies.

"Fuck you Jew fag princess!" Retorted Hitler, stuffing his mouth with more candy.

While the princess and Hitler continued to argue, the raven haired caped boy and the hobo both sighed, and continued to walk on to the next house to get more candy for themselves.

As the full yellowed moon hung high in the velvet black sky, Kenny the hobo and Stan the caped-thing were far ahead. So far ahead, that they had lost the others.

Way behind them, Cartman and Princess 'Kylie' were still arguing.

"Well fuck you then, _Princess Kylie"_ Cartman sneered, using Kyle's much detested new nickname to irritate him further. And with that, Hitler stormed off in the darkness, leaving Kyle all alone in the dark October night.

Kyle, the red-headed princess, felt a pang of fear inside him. Other than that, just pure embarrassment from being forced into the princess outfit. He couldn't wait to get home and burn the goddamn monstrosity, yet still, he was scared. He was alone, and had no idea where everyone had went.

He sighed, and rubbed his temples, deciding it would be best if he just tried to head home. As he walked down the snowy path, hugging himself for warmth, he had that weird sense that he wasn't alone.

He turned around, peering into the shadows that seemed to loom towards him.

"Hello?" He called out, fear just lacing his voice.

"Why hello there, Princess Kylie" Said a sinister, yet strangely familiar voice.

In panic, Kyle turned around to see who was there, only to receive a firm blow to the back of his head, sending him flying into the wall.

Slowly, he lifted his hand, and wiped away the blood that was running from his nose.

"W...who are you?" He cried out, spitting out a thick blob of blood.

A figure approached, but in the darkness, and the loss of consciousness, the red head couldn't properly see who it was.

The figure kicked the side of Kyle's face, fully knocking him unconscious. Smiling smugly, the figure picked up the dainty princess and carried him off into the night….

**XXXXXXXXX**

Stan and Kenny had barely walked that far ahead, but yet, they had seemed to have lost Kyle and Fatass.

"Damn, that must've been one hell of a fight if they're still not back yet!" Kenny exclaimed.

Stan nodded in agreement, but still, Kyle usually would've been back by now.

"Dude, this just…something feels off…something isn't right" Stan sighed deeply. He felt a ball of guilt well up inside him for leaving his best friend to fight with that Fatass.

"Dude, I'm gonna try find him, kay?" Stan said, turning to his blonde friend.

Kenny, knowing that most of his food for the rest of the year came from trick or treating, nodded, and replied "Kay, I'll just keep goin'"

Stan turned around, quickly waved bye, and went off in search of Kyle.

He hadn't got that far when they found Kyle's bag of candy, left in the snow.

"Oh shit dude…that's not a good sign"

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Kyle's head throbbed painfully, like he had been hit with a ton of bricks. Slowly, he opened his eyes, to find nothing but darkness.

"W…where the hell am I?" He asked croakily, trying to move, only to find he had been tied tightly to a slab of freezing cold marble. A headstone

"Well, Princess Kylie, we're going to have some fun here in this delightful cemetery here" Came the voice.

"Who are you? What the fuck do you want from me?" Kyle asked, scared. He knew that tone of voice couldn't be Cartman, so…who the hell was it?

"As I said, we're going to have some fun" The voice said again, in a way that sounded like the owner of the voice was grinning maliciously.

Kyle tensed at this. The figure sensed this, and knelt down beside him, wrapping his arms around him.

"Oh come, come Kyle! It'll be fun! Let's start with a story, huh?" The person kept a firm grip of Kyle as he began his story.

"Okay, so once upon a time, there was a boy, who was in love with the golden haired girl of his dreams, but, her heart was set on another boy, named Kyle, okay? But, Kyle wasn't interested in this girl, and it broke this girl's heart to see he didn't care for her as she did to him, so, this boy decided the only way he could win the heart of his dream girl, and to ease her heartbreak, was by getting rid of the problem. So that's what the boy did, and then they were all happily ever after, and the end"

By the end of that, Kyle froze in terror, knowing what was in store for him. He had never meant to hurt Bebe, but he just wasn't into her.

"So, let's start the fun!" The person began, with a cold tone in his voice.

A small match was lit, emitting the tiniest of flames. The person threw the match onto the large poofy skirts of Kyle's dress, immediately turning him into a human bonfire.

He screamed in shock, terror and fear as the flames soared around him, bathing him in an ungodly heat, unable to move or roll around or anything.

Then, the red-head noticed something. The light from his dress let him see his captor. In shock and surprise, Kyle whispered

"Clyde?"

**XXXXXXXX**

"Dude, he hasn't picked up his cell. I'm getting worried" Stan muttered to himself, trying to catch any sign of Kyle.

Sighing, and pinching the bridge of his nose like he always did, Stan just hoped Kyle was alright.

Then, he noticed a bonfire in the middle of the cemetery.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Still staring at Clyde, the cry-baby, in disbelief that he was trying to kill him, Kyle temporarily forgot about the flaming dress.

"You broke my girl's heart. She wants you. Well Princess, without you, she'll want me, so yeah, my plan is pretty damn good, huh?"

"I….I…I.." Kyle stammered, speechless.

"Shut it, _Princess Kylie_"

A demonic look blazed in Clyde's eyes, and he carefully removed the tiara from Kyle's hair, which matched the shade of the fire nicely, and felt how sharp the point was. Smiling wickedly, he quickly stabbed the boy in pile of flames in the heart, receiving a piercing cry of pain from Kyle, as a pool of his blood leaked out on the slush and burnt grass.

"You broke her heart, so I'll break yours!" He grinned evilly, his eyes burning in delight from watching the poor boy burn.

Kyle's final screams echoed through the night, before he was silenced – a victim to the flames.

"Clyde, what the hell?" Gawped Stan, wondering why he had heard screams, and why Clyde was beside a bonfire in the cemetery.

Clyde, worried his plan might come undone, simply replied with him by staring at him awkwardly for a while, before pushing him into the bonfire as well, before running away faster than he ever had before.

Stan had barely any time to react as he was plunged into this sweltering world of flames. He felt dizzy, like he was almost slipping away.

Before he did, he noticed a shimmering tiara, and finally realised where Kyle had got to, before all consciousness washed away.

The heavy snowfall later, hid their ashes, and neither boys were ever found…..

…..Although Cartman claims that they ran away to start their faggy lives together.

**Messed up, huh? Oh well…Clyde kinda just made it so awkward… anyways…..**

**HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN!**

**Cookixxxx**


End file.
